Instructor Insights

So, another school year has come to a close. And while I make it a point to copy down the pertinent information in my notes, sometimes I also write down stuff that's not as pertinent. Usually this takes the form of teacher quotes.
You know, the random things that professors say that may or may not have any relation to the course material.
Since I'm going through my notes to study for exams anyway, I figured I'd make a quick post to jot down the quotes that I find along the way. I hope you enjoy them! They probably won't make as much sense as if you were there in class and knew the personality of each professor, so I'll try to copy only the best ones.
Professor 1
"Let's say we invent an alarm clock that punches you in the face to wake you up...."
"Cons have different weights. For example, one con may be 'tastes bad', and the other con may be 'may result in user death'."
"If you ever get into the topic of uncertainty of uncertainty- cry, rock back and forth under your desk, and say, 'The world is hard- I don't understand it!'"

Professor 2
"It's really kinda cool, piracy."
"(While wearing a suit) Don't ever trust somebody dressed like this. They're trying to sell you something."
"Animals die, and sometimes you have to help them along."
"If you try to tame an African elephant, you're gonna die."
"I'll tell you what, I am one fine teacher!"
"Movies have gotten really violent. Now when you're eight, you want to go see 'GI Joe blows up the world'."
"I've jumped out of a helicopter. It was on the ground at the time."
"Every once in a while someone crazy will try to claim it [sunlight or oxygen]; they usually end up as a villain in a James Bond movie."

Professor 3
Professor:"What have you learned about detached shocks so far?"
Student:"We've learned that they exist."
Professor:"Why yes! They do!"

Professor:"You guys do want to be engineers?"
Several students:"Not anymore."

Student:"You're the expert."
Professor: "Yeah."

Professor 4
"If you ever happen to get shot, you won't know until you get hit since the bullet is outpacing the acoustic wave."
"Die with stuff on the table."
"You may be able to get a very precise answer, but I do not care. Use the tables."
Professor:"Can anyone see a problem with this?"
Student:"Zero."
Professor:"That's a number, not a problem."

(Sarcastically) "Questioning my artwork. I am insulted."
"It gives you this value, plus or minus numbers."

Professor 5
"I suppose I could grade the final by the weight test, it's where the heaviest exam gets the highest grade."
"The weakest element in space exploration is the human being. Somehow our Creator did not factor in the means for us to be sustained on other planets."

Also, here's a couple pictures I've somewhat recently taken.